watch your step
by Michael Davies
Remember the time you were a kid and didn’t have any responsibilities? The whole world was like your playground and you could run around wherever you wanted to. You were energetic enough to play on the jungle gym, small enough to dive into a pit of plastic balls, and adventurous enough to go down the craziest slides. Imagine a place where all these things were possible. It shouldn’t take you long because there was a wonderful building that made this possible: DZ The Discovery Zone.
Every kid should have been lucky enough to enter this glorious building. If you are just learning about DZ by reading this blog, your family was most likely white trash and only brought you to Chuck E Cheese’s. You missed out. The creators of DZ were literally geniuses for opening this place. Everywhere you turned there were padded obstacles and things to climb on, so it was impossible to get hurt. Sometimes there would be “that kid” who would be crying, but nine out of ten times he probably crapped his pants or something.
If you were looking for a little thrill, you could have gone on one of the huge slides and land in a gigantic ball pit. DZ always had the coolest slides. They were long, short, tubed, or even a bunch of rollers connected to each other that made your whole body vibrate. That slide always felt so good on your fanny! Basically, DZ was like a McDonald’s play-place on the most epic/dangerous kind of steroid, which is okay in my book!
Tired of running around in the play dome? No fear! You could just walk right over to the arcade games! They had every game you wanted: Skee-Ball, Whack-a-Mole, even that game where you have to hit the alligator’s noses. It may have been a money pit for parents, but when you’re a kid, WHO CARES? By this point, you didn’t want to run around anymore. So your parents (if they loved you) would bring you over to the “DZ Diner” and get you a slice of pizza. It wasn’t gourmet stuff, but what else could you ask for out of this place?
I had the privilege of having my fifth birthday party at DZ and I can honestly say it was my most favorite birthday of all time (nothing against my 21st birthday where I had 18 shots and have no idea what happened next). The DZ staff would take your party into a room, give you a cake, and sing happy birthday. Pretty exciting, huh? Well DZ goes above and beyond! They would make you stand on your chair and all your friends got to THROW SPRINKLES AT YOU. What kid wouldn’t want that? Then after all the festivities you would leave the party room and run around again!
Anytime I went to DZ I felt like I died, went to heaven, and came back to Earth all in one playful afternoon. Children today are so deprived of a real play-place. Its too bad that DZ had to file for bankruptcy. America could really use DZ now more than ever to get us out of this economic slump. I hope someday DZ will make an amazing comeback to our lives so we can all relive our childhoods. Maybe that would explain why their mascot was a robot with lightbulbs sticking out of it’s head…
Also, mom at 0:25… You’re a bitch.
Tell us you thoughts! What was your favorite memory from DZ?